It's good advice to listen to your peers. I took on the advice of some good friends I've made (thanks Col and Amit for the feedback) and have revisited my Christmas tale The HOLLY and The I.V. and sanitized it a little. Like I said, I wrote the story as an exercise, to get the creative juices flowing and to try entering the head of a different character. But LESS IS MORE especially when we talk about swearing. I've re-posted the story below - it's still in the voice of a bad man so it's still a bit dodgy in places just not as dodgy as previously, and I hope it doesn't shock too many sensibilities this time. Remember to read it in a pantomime wise guy voice for full effect.
The moral of this story - you can and do learn all the time.